Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
