If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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