you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize