I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I've blown a few things in my day
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
