Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
