oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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