so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
