Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
