I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Boobs are out for the taking
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize