I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
