I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
