So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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