Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
