Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
