Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
