My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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