ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
