she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
