Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize