so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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