is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
