hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
