i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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