im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize