I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
