Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
