You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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