Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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