At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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