and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
