I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
