ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
