how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she looked like the before picture.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
