Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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