these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
