Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
