I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
