you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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