Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize