Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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