Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
