I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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