i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
