I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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