he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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