What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
