I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
