what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
