So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
