People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
