Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
