Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Its about making memories worth repressing
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
