He uses pillows to masturbate.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
