Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
