Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
