you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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