just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
