am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
